Ladies and Gents, Boys and Girls gather around and prepare yourself for a tale to end all tales. First, we have a story from the age of old farts who use social media to find out the world really doesn’t understand them. The age-old tale of Jon Malin is one to shock and awe you! Taking to social media and then youtube to impress upon all of us weary and downtrodden the fact that the X-Men were never Social Justice Warriors! How preposterous a tale that history revisionists would have you believe. Instead, we should know the truth that wolverine himself was created to make sure the wage gap always stays open and bleeding.
Next in our time of storytelling Casey spins you a yarn from his front porch where you find out that the Inhumans no longer will be joining our weekly watching schedules. Little did he know that the Inhumans were never really on most peoples weekly schedules in the first place. I for one would rather listen to Botched backward until my ears bleed but that’s just me.
When the spotlight is on me I dance and twirl like a pretty pretty princess. My interpretive dance is inspired by the new game character of Luna Snow in Future Fight. My sexy writhing and gyrating communicates the long and troubled past that has brought us the beloved new character. Or it summons some demons…..just listen to find out.
Philliam steps up with an amazing moment of excellence that surprises all in attendance. Logan gets a nomination for an Oscar and not for the boob scene that Travis so loved. Instead, it garners attention for its writing and long island ice teas. And we put the campfire out with one last song of songs about Square Enix and the end of the world they are bringing about with the new Avengers game. Virgins were sacrificed and blood was spilled, but in the end our warriors remained true and never left the confines of their parent’s basements.
In the aftermath of skynet’s demise, we speak in hushed tones of Toys R Us feeding our addictions no more, and of the most famous red underoos in the world. All of this beloved sally is for you. This war of brother to brother may have left us a little brain dead and disfigured, but if Philliam can find love then we have no more cares in the world.
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Big thanks to Dennis Robinson of Botched Podcast for the opening promotional audio!